George speaks out: happy times are here again!

Everything will be fine, as long as I'm president. There is just a few things we need to do on an emergency basis to insure something awful doesn't go off -- I mean happen, yes, bad, really bad happen to Washington... I mean Boston, no, no, New York, that's not it, I mean California or Texas.

These things we need to do, you won't even notice. And to not cause a panic, I have decided not to tell you about them: domestic intell; phone lines; computer addresses; and such things you don't need to think about, we've already thought about them for you, O.K.? And, after a little longer while, you will be able to quit worrying about the terrorists and Bin Laddie, hehehehe. He... well, we may never find his body, sorry. Oh, I almost forgot. There are some other laws, some constitutional ambiv...... you know, wobbley laws. Rights of terrorists to a government lawyer. Well, as long as it's a government lawyer, I guess it's Okie-Doekie. Ya all know if it's O.K. with the A.G., it's O.K. with me. Oh, and after this press conference I'll take one question, but nothing about torture -- you all are torturing me today, heheheheh. Oh, by the way, I'm sick and tired of my Daddy's old friends; I told them all to go home. I'm a big boy, I can run the country by myself.